Sunday, July 10, 2016

Embittered contemplations.

I am growing weary. I am contemplating taking a hiatus from Twitter. I realize I have loyal followers who have followed me for a few years; however, lately, I have become increasingly embittered. 

I don't feel comfortable with who I am becoming. 

All my life I have never judged anyone based on their skin color or their race. I have always loved and enjoyed learning about other cultures, even those on the other side of the earth. I have always loved anthropology, loved learning etymological roots of different languages and how they have interwoven through time, loved studying archeological research from all cultures. 

However, within the last few years I have begun to notice increasingly vitriolic rhetoric online and in all facets of media that is dangerously Anti-White in nature. At first when I began to notice it, I didn't think too much about it. It can't be ignored anymore. 

The incessant Anti-White rhetoric has put me on the defensive, as all White Americans should rightfully feel during these times. Anti-White rhetoric awakened me to a very serious threat against my loved ones. A threat that I won't tolerate. So, I have now become racially aware, whereas before I never really was. 

I have always stood up for the underdog. I've stepped in countless times as a young child when I saw black kids being antagonized by white kids, and vice versa. I would always step into the middle of it to break up the conflict. 

I believe with my whole heart in unity. Individuals unified and working together to make our Nation something that we can always be proud about. 

But, my tone online doesn't align with my true core. After defending myself from someone's nasty rhetoric against me, after spewing venom back at venom, I always feel badly. It always hurts me. I don't want to hurt people, and when I feel as if I have gone against that belief, it always ends up hurting me. Maybe the other person involved who I spoke harshly to... Maybe they don't even think twice about my words. That doesn't matter. I do. I revisit what I said after the heat of the moment, and I always feel badly. 

But, I am angry. 

I don't want to close my heart off to other cultures and races, although there are days when I feel it happening out of self-defense. I don't want to become bitter, angry, closed off. That's no way to live. A closed off heart is suffocating to the soul. 

I was born with a Merciful heart, a heart of compassion and love. That heart is becoming hardened. And, I don't like that unnatural version of me. 

I might take a step back from the cesspool of Twitter. Take a break for a short time or permanently. 

Our time on this earth is so precious. We never know if we will be here from one moment to the next. Look at us. Arguing with strangers online not knowing if that moment might be our last. 

I've always been afraid to truly embrace the fullness of the mercy I always felt deep within me. I can't explain what it feels like because it is so powerful, this thing called mercy. When I focus my energy on what I feel in my heart, it feels like a powerful flowing river. It is painful but in an amazingly strong way. It feels like my heart will explode into thousands of sparks of light. I just can't explain how it feels. 

I love humanity. I weep for what we have become. Where is our light? Our Love? 

Please, can we stop warring? Let our children have peace? 

Can we please not destroy this wonderful Nation we call America? 

Monday, March 7, 2016

Delusions and the veil of evil.

The deluded mind of mankind sends forth a boasting, empty challenge to the Omniscient that if humanity were the Almighty, we would create a much better world than this. We would remove from earth devastating diseases, mental weakness, untamed emotions such as anger, greed, and lust; we would vanish natural disasters such as floods, earthquakes, and famines, we would eliminate despair, old age, and death. We would overcome the tragedies of life.

Mankind boasts that if we ruled the world we would create one that's free from all struggle, pain of travail, and we would live in a permanent state of bliss. 

We dream of our world being full of a variety of occupations with unlimited activity, all of which will lead to infinite pleasure. Good citizens would be materialized by Will from the ether, just as it was said God created the first man and woman. Further, all beings would go to Heaven and become Angels residing in eternal bliss, or we would make earth a utopian ideal.

Such a state of utopia is easy to imagine, for the soul is always whispering to man its native perfection, even while the ego engages him in gambling with the enticements of distorted earthly duality. An ideal existence of utopia is not for this realm or time. For humanity in this present stage of evolution, a life without difficulties, would be of little value. No lessons of growth would be learned, no compelling incentives to seek and to know Truth. 

Despite all this, the unresolved conundrum remains: Did evil have its origins in the plan of a benevolent Creator?

The Divine answered Isaiah: "I am the Lord and there is none else, there is no God beside me. I girded thee (invested thee with my power and attributes) though thou has not known me...I form the light, and create darkness. I make peace, and create evil. I the Lord do these things." 

The rishis of India similarly perceived: "...Joy, sorrow, birth, death, fear, courage... These diverse states of being spring from Me alone as manifestations of my nature... I am the source of everything, from Me all creation emerges." 

Spirit alone is perfect. Everything in creation, being delimited, is imperfect. The very beginning of creation gave rise to the law of duality--light and darkness, good and evil, truth and falsehood--the law of relativity necessary to divide the One into the many. By the storm of vibration, the Divine's thoughts of multiplicity brought forth the manifestation of the divine play. 

Spirit in its infinite consciousness differentiated (in thought only) between itself and creation, just as the varied images of a dream assume a semblance of reality in their relative existence as separate thoughts made of the one mind-self of the deamer's imagination.

To provide individuality and independence to thought images, Spirit had to employ a cosmic deception. Spirit permeated its creative desire with delusion, a grand measure described in Buddhist and Hindu scriptures as Maya (from the Sanskrit root, Ma, "to measure"). 

Delusion divides, measures out, the infinite forms into finite forms and forces. The working of cosmic delusion on these individualizations is called avidya, individual illusion or ignorance. Individualized selves now possessing human bodies and mind are given the power of free choice and independent action from the Creator.

In the bible, when the Holy Spirit is in tune with Christ (Truth) Consciousness, it creates goodness and beauty that draws all manifestation toward a symbiotic harmony and an ultimate oneness with God. 

Satan (from the Hebrew, literally "the adversary) pulls outward from God into entanglement with the delusive world of matter, employing the mayic cosmic delusion to diffuse, confuse, blind, and bind.

Satan is defined as an archangel that fell from heaven, a force fallen from grace of attunement with the Creative Vibration of God. Jesus said: "I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven." (Luke 10:18) The divine cosmic vibration with its creative light became a divided force. 

The adversarial aspect asserts its independence and turns from God or TRUTH to ply its wiles in the grossest regions of duality, inversion, oppositional states, and mortality.

When we play into delusion, we suffer. We can bear witness to this manifesting or revealing itself all around us in today's world. 

May we learn to turn our faces back to our Creator, recognize mayic delusions, and heal our own internal adversaries.